- Addison, this is a really well done short film. The narrative is clever and engaging and it is clear that your visual story-telling techniques have developed since your last short film project.
- The contrast technique between a good life and the life of an assassin is clever and adds an interesting dynamic and change of pace that catches the viewer off guard initially. This disarms the viewer and places your audience in a great position to have suspense built through what the experience next on screen.
- Opening logo sequence looks great!
- Sound levels could have used some tweaking to get them even more effective. Lowering background noise in the first sequence and then really boosting scary music could have helped create tension. Also the sound quality of the phone-call wasn't great. This was slightly tricky to hear and could have been turned up to really emphasise the scariness of that stranger's voice
- The switch to the dark world of the assassin is done effectively with dramatic sound effects and change in music, lighting, props and camera positioning. That cantered angle to introduce us to the changed character is well-used.
- As proposed in the comments on your rough edit, the lighting during the phone-call is really dark and it is very hard to make out what is happening on screen. Darkness as a convention works well in creating the assassin's dark world but I think this is just too dark and needed some lighting to make out the character's distress
- The 180' rule was broken! This is so unfortunate as otherwise, continuity-wise, it flows really well. When the brother is walking down you shoot it and edit it together with 2 different angles, essentially crossing 'the line', also having him walk towards the door in 1 direction and then walking past the window in the opposite direction is an oversight in continuity.
- The racking of focus at the end with the half eaten apple and the door being struggled with is a great cliff-hanger and it leaves the audience in unresolved suspense. Also having the plot include siblings who would usually be allies, being enemies in the ruthless narrative of an assassin's job, creates a multi-layered and clever thriller short film.
Hi Addison
ReplyDeleteOverall Score: Grade 4
15/20
Comments:
- Addison, this is a really well done short film. The narrative is clever and engaging and it is clear that your visual story-telling techniques have developed since your last short film project.
- The contrast technique between a good life and the life of an assassin is clever and adds an interesting dynamic and change of pace that catches the viewer off guard initially. This disarms the viewer and places your audience in a great position to have suspense built through what the experience next on screen.
- Opening logo sequence looks great!
- Sound levels could have used some tweaking to get them even more effective. Lowering background noise in the first sequence and then really boosting scary music could have helped create tension. Also the sound quality of the phone-call wasn't great. This was slightly tricky to hear and could have been turned up to really emphasise the scariness of that stranger's voice
- The switch to the dark world of the assassin is done effectively with dramatic sound effects and change in music, lighting, props and camera positioning. That cantered angle to introduce us to the changed character is well-used.
- As proposed in the comments on your rough edit, the lighting during the phone-call is really dark and it is very hard to make out what is happening on screen. Darkness as a convention works well in creating the assassin's dark world but I think this is just too dark and needed some lighting to make out the character's distress
- The 180' rule was broken! This is so unfortunate as otherwise, continuity-wise, it flows really well. When the brother is walking down you shoot it and edit it together with 2 different angles, essentially crossing 'the line', also having him walk towards the door in 1 direction and then walking past the window in the opposite direction is an oversight in continuity.
- The racking of focus at the end with the half eaten apple and the door being struggled with is a great cliff-hanger and it leaves the audience in unresolved suspense. Also having the plot include siblings who would usually be allies, being enemies in the ruthless narrative of an assassin's job, creates a multi-layered and clever thriller short film.
- Your end title is also well done and fits nicely with the film's tone.
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